Thoughts from Laura

9/19/2015

(Note: this post is Laura's journal entry from her devotional this morning...going forward this blog will include more entries from her and from Luke as well)

A bomb went off in my home last month. I call it the "C-bomb." It took Luke’s right leg. There is shrapnel in several parts of his body as well. We’re all reeling from the explosion. We are begging God to please remove the cancer from Luke’s body and to heal our boy. (James 5:14-16)

The past couple of days I have been asking God where is He in all this chaos and pain. Today He spoke to me through Psalm 18.

“I love you, O Lord, my strength.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
     my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” (Psalm 18:1-2)

I feel like “the cords of the grave are coiled around Luke,” and “the snares of death are confronting him.” (Psalm 18:5) That is how it feels to face the cancer that has hold of Luke.

Does God hear me from his temple? (Psalm 18:6) Does the Lord rise up with smoke coming from his nostrils, as consuming fire, on clouds, in darkness, with rain, hail and bolts of lightening, to come fight for Luke’s life? (Psalm 18:7-12)

I pray that the Lord will shoot his arrows and scatter the tumors! I plead with God that he will send great bolts of lightening to rout the cancer in Luke’s body! (Psalm 18:14). I hope that He will bring Luke “out into a spacious place and rescue him!” (Psalm 18:19) I beg the Lord to please “keep my lamp burning; to turn my darkness into light” as I battle the despair in my heart! (Psalm 18:28) And then God reminds me:

“As for God, his way is perfect;
     the word of the Lord is flawless.
He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.
For who is God besides the Lord?
     And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with stength
     and makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
     he enables me to stand on the heights." (Psalm 18:30-33)

The Lord lives! Praise be to my Rock!
     Exalted is God, my Savior! (Psalm 18:46)

Amen.

11 Comments

Debbie Erickson

9/19/2015 08:49:44 pm

Thank you Laura. Thank you for His true words, your true struggle and real pain. You are prayed for and we join you for God to,heal your boy.

Sonia Thompson

9/20/2015 05:45:55 am

Hello, Laura.

As a mother myself, I can say that you are living through one of my greatest fears....probably shared by mothers everywhere. My heart aches for your family, knowing the darkness that must sometimes feel as if it will consume you. In a time like this, you might go a long time without seeing the sun, but you'll see the stars clearer than you ever have before.

God does work in mysterious ways, but I can tell you from my outsider perspective, with 100% honesty, that I can,today, look back on EVERY.SINGLE difficult experience I've ever had in life....some where I wanted to just disappear because I thought things would never get better....and see God's hand in them. He really does work all things for the good of those who love Him, and BLESSED are those who learn this early on in their lives. I really do think that some of the darkest times we face in life are meant to help release us from some stronghold that nothing else has been able to touch.

Some days, you have to give your racing, scary thoughts to God over and over, every second of the day even, to keep them from dragging you down; some days, there is beautiful respite, and some days, true joy! Just keep clinging to the ONE who loves you all more than anything.

As for Luke, well, I think all the above applies to him too, but in addition, youth is on his side. Having dealt with a painful, chronic health condition myself as a child, I can tell you that kids have an inner strength about things like this that most of us just don't as adults. And, he has the love and support of an apparently awesome loving and supportive family.

I want you to know that I am one among many praying for your family and for God to heal Luke.

Father, God, thank you that you are a place, maybe the only place, that we can run to with ANYTHING, and find peace, love, and a loving teaching. Thank you for sending many "angels on earth" to help the Granger family during this time of need. Please, we ask that you bless Luke as he starts his chemotherapy this week, that he may withstand the treatment as it does what it needs to to remove this cancer from his body. Strengthen him as he learns that he is so much stronger than he probably ever knew he could be, with You by his side. Please bring peace to the hearts of his family and friends, helping them to trust in you and your plan. Amen.

Shelley Crouch

9/20/2015 11:59:36 am

Thank you for sharing your heart and bearing your soul. I will join you in praying all these scriptures for Luke and I know that His word does not return void. I am thankful in such times to remember that God loves our children (even more than we do if such a thing I possible) and that He can be trusted.

9/20/2015 12:01:50 pm

*if (not "I")

9/20/2015 07:21:12 pm

*baring (not "bearing")

Tracy Smith

9/20/2015 06:47:47 pm

Thank you for sharing your heart. Your family continues to be in my prayers.

Vickie

9/21/2015 07:37:35 am

Laura, thanks dear friend for sharing. I, too, will join you in praying through Psalm 18, praying with you and for you.

Julia Tanner

9/21/2015 10:39:02 am

Still praying for you, my friend. When there is nothing left of you except broken shards, God light will pour forth and His strength will carry you and your loved ones.

Christi Hinterman

9/21/2015 11:32:57 am

Love your thoughts and for sharing your heart through these verses and prayers… Praying with you...

jill rumohr

9/21/2015 11:49:47 am

Psalm 18 is one of my very favorites, as I read it now, I will pray through it with your family right in those verses. We continue to pray every day for you all, James 5:14-16. James, Laura, Sam, Jay and Luke, We love you.

Allison Charnin

9/22/2015 06:17:43 pm

Thanks for being willing to share your raw thoughts and prayers.

I have been struck this year at how little I know about how to lament. I'm pretty sure nobody taught me how to lament, or even pointed out all the examples in the Bible. I've found that there is something so therapeutic about the act of biblical lament.

I love how God can handle our crying out, and our honesty about the awful situations we find ourselves in, and that our reaction is to come back and praise Him and reaffirm our faith.

I really appreciate how you allowed us to walk through this with you.

Thoughts from Laura

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