Friends...
Today is a hard day, as it marks eighteen months since Luke passed away. The deep sadness and loss persists. We are so grateful as we receive graduation open house invitations and photos from Luke's friends, and so heartbroken knowing that we will not experience the joy of watching Luke's life unfold. Luke dreamed of attending college as a music education major. He wanted to become a Young Life leader. He imagined himself getting married, having a family, and being a music teacher at an elementary school. As we miss Luke so very much every single day, a big part of what we miss are the things we'll never get to see. This season is full of reminders of that loss. Whether or not you were able to attend Luke's Memorial Service on September 13, 2017, many of you have asked if there was a way you could view it online. We're honored to be able to share this memory with you. Click here to watch. Thanks to Alex Ruff and to everyone involved who helped us remember Luke in such a meaningful way on that day. Through our tears we continue to be blessed by your prayers, your presence, and your words of understanding and encouragement. Recently I have been comforted by Hebrews 11:16, which says, "But they now aspire to a better land-a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them." I am grateful that, by faith, Luke has already arrived at the better, heavenly land, and that one day we get to join him. In the meantime, man do we miss him so much. God bless, James & Lu (for Sam, Jay, & Luke)
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(This post was written by Laura on December 2, 2018) When you lose someone you love, it isn’t uncommon to mark holidays, birthdays and other special days based on the number of years since your loved one has passed away. Last year was our year of “firsts,” which are often, but not always, the most difficult dates on the calendar to survive. For our first Christmas without Luke a few dear friends secretly contacted many of our family and friends and asked if they would select a yellow Christmas ornament (or one that wasn't yellow but reminded them of Luke) and send it to them. These amazing women collected ornaments from both friends and strangers who had heard about Luke, his faith, and his brave battle with cancer and asked us if they could come visit us during the week before Christmas. When they arrived at our house, they asked us to go down to the basement, because they wanted to bring in and set up a surprise for us. Twenty minutes later we were ushered back upstairs and presented with their gift of love and kindness, a Christmas tree decorated with ornaments in memory of Luke. We were so incredibly, deeply moved by this act of love. This Christmas tree was filled with ornaments from people who were touched by Luke, people who cared deeply for our family in our grief. Our Luke Tree was a healing balm to our ragged, grieving spirits that were dreading our first Christmas without our bright, witty, and brave youngest son. This year is our second Christmas without Luke. We continue to grieve his absence in our family. We spent our second Thanksgiving remembering what we loved and missed about Luke. Over that weekend, we put up our Luke Tree. There is so much yellow on it, Luke’s favorite color and the color that most accurately reflects Luke’s spirit! As we hung ornaments on the tree, we read the tags that told us who gave each one. And again we felt the love and care of so many friends near and far. If you'd like to add an ornament to our Luke tree, we'd be honored and grateful! You can mail it to Luke Legacy Fund, Box 818, Mason MI, 48854. The Luke tree has become Luke’s presence to us during this holiday season. We will cry and grieve his absence. But we will also smile and remember his friendly, feisty spirit. We will thank God for the seventeen Christmases we were privileged to share with Luke. We will thank God that because He sent His Son to earth as a newborn baby, we will someday live with Luke for eternity in Heaven. Please hold us in your prayers as we remember Luke during this difficult season. Thank you always! Laura Hello friends.
Tomorrow (September 6, 2018) will mark one year since Luke passed away from this earth. We haven't "lost" Luke...we know exactly where he is. We are thankful that Luke is with Jesus, and confident that his eternal future is secure. We cannot wait to see him again. In the meantime, we grieve. There is a gaping hole in our lives, and in the world, which Luke used to fill. He was a faithful follower of Jesus, a fantastic son, a beloved friend, and the classic younger brother. The emptiness is profound. The daily ache in our hearts is very difficult to live with. We miss Luke. Please help us remember Luke tomorrow. We WANT to be reminded of Luke. Take a few minutes to think about Luke, to remember, appreciate, pray. Find a picture that reminds you of Luke. Or, maybe wear something yellow. Take a picture or write a note and post it on Instagram and on my Facebook page. Use #lukelegacy. Consider tagging Laura and me in your post. If you have my number, feel free send me the pic as well. We will be blessed to know that you are thinking of Luke. Thank you for walking this road with us. Can't stop, WON'T stop remembering our boy. God bless! James & Lu, (for Sam, Jay, & Luke) Hello friends.
It's been a while since our last blog post. We are halfway through the summer, and life continues to be very challenging. Mother's Day and Father's Day are incredibly hard when you've lost a child. Every day is filled with "wish" moments. We spent a great week away in Hilton Head with family and friends, but Luke's absence was glaring. We wish Luke was here. We wish Luke was here to see the new Incredibles movie. We wish Luke was here to march with the band in the 4th of July parade. We wish Luke was here. Period. We are thrilled and thankful for the impact of the first year of the Luke Legacy Fund. There are 77 High School and Middle School Luke Legacy Fund recipients attending Young Life camp this summer. We awarded $27,000 in scholarships. We are already receiving photos and stories of how God has used these camp experiences to transform lives. Many of these kids would not have been able to attend camp without their Luke Legacy Fund scholarship. This was Luke's dream, to make camp accessible to all kids, so they could hear about Jesus and trust in Him the way Luke was able to do. So many of you have been generous in donating in Luke's memory. We've been blown away by the size of the fund. Thank you. Our aim to is continue to grow the Luke Legacy Fund. We had to turn away several applicants for 2018, and we're expecting more for 2019. What if we could award 150 scholarships next year? To that end, let me tell you a little bit about the 2018 Amazing Photo Challenge to raise money for the Luke Legacy Fund. When Luke was little one of his favorite and frequent babysitters was Kendra Hinkle. Kendra (now Patterson) is now married with kids and owns a business in downtown Mason. She had a vision to put together an event to honor Luke and to raise $ for the Luke Legacy Fund. The 2018 Amazing Photo Challenge will take place in Mason from 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. on Saturday, 8.18.18. (Luke's "life" Bible verse is Romans 8:18). Here's how it will work: 1) Teams will pick up their maps and instructions any time between 10:00 and 3:00 at the Ingham County Fairgrounds (700 East Ash Street in Mason). Participants will pay $5 per person, but of course people are free to donate more if they wish to do so. No registration is needed. Just show up, get your map and instructions, pay, and go! Teams can walk, bike, or drive from the Fairgrounds. 2) Teams will then attempt to complete as many of the "challenges" as they can. Challenges will include photos with your team at iconic places, as well as points awarded for visits to various Mason establishments. So far we have over 40 sponsor establishments in and around Mason who have agreed to participate. Some are offering incentive...for example, participants who stop at the Daily Scoop can order the "Luke flavor of the day" in addition to receiving their challenge points. 3) Once teams have completed their efforts, they will then return their maps to Michigan Barn Wood & Salvage, 352 West Columbia Street in Mason any time before 5:00 to tally their points. Winning team will win $500 cash prize!! 4) More details are available here: https://www.facebook.com/events/168041787240664/ 5) Laura and I will be welcoming visitors at our home all day on 8.18.18, so we'd love to have you stop by! We will have drinks and snacks, perhaps a Ukulele performance by Jay, and also photos and stories from kids who attended camp in 2018 via the Luke Legacy Fund. If you are unable to attend the Amazing Photo Challenge, you can always make donations to the Luke Legacy Fund any time by clicking here. We are so grateful for all of you. It will mean so much for us to honor Luke on 8.18.18. It will mean even more to be present with all of you. God bless! James & Lu, (for Sam, Jay, & Luke) You are my sunshine, my only sunshine You make me happy when skies are gray You'll never know dear, how much I love you Please don't take my sunshine away The other night dear, as I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken So I hung my head and I cried. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine You make me happy when skies are gray You'll never know dear, how much I love you Please don't take my sunshine away When Luke and his brothers were young I would often wake them for school by singing the “Rise and Shine” song, the Winnie-the-Pooh theme song, “It’s Time to Rise and Shine”, etc.. As they got older and the singing became more annoying to them, I (of course) still sang to them. The annoying (and off-key) mom-singing wouldn't stop until they got out of bed. Good motivation! Sometimes I would sing the chorus of “You are My Sunshine”. When I would sing that to Luke it would hit me how true it was. Luke was my sunshine. He was such a happy, smiling baby, toddler, and young child. His favorite color was yellow. He loved interacting with people. If someone seemed down or unhappy, Luke would do his best to cheer them up. He loved just being with me, his mom, whatever we were doing and wherever we went. Luke was my baby, and I savored all my “last” mom experiences with him. Often as I would sing the last line, “please don’t take my sunshine away,” I would tear up and in my heart I would beg God not to let anything happen to Luke that would take him away from me on this earth. I would also chide myself for having this fear. After Luke was diagnosed with stage IV cancer on his 15th birthday, that fear became real. I wondered if that was why I would so often tear up to this song when Luke was so young and perfectly healthy. Was it because God was somehow telling my spirit that one day I would experience the pain of losing my son? I wondered if I treasured my sons and being a mother too much, that maybe it was an idol to me, or that God was trying to teach me a lesson. Now I just wonder if all along God knew we would lose Luke way too soon, so He made sure Luke lived his life abundantly and touched all he came in contact with in positive, memorable way. “You Are My Sunshine” was always a bittersweet song for me to sing to Luke. Today it is still bittersweet for me. I hear it and remember cuddling with Luke, in his yellow bedroom, as he was waking up as a very young child or making sarcastic comments to me as I sang it to him as a pre-teen to get him out of bed. And I remember the touch of grief that would overcome me thinking, “what if I lost Luke?” as I sang the last line. My memories of Luke today often bring a smile to my face. To me Luke was sunshine personified. He was always there to light up a room, to warm sad hearts, and to grow friendships with all he met. His smile would shine bright the joy and optimism he felt in his heart and soul, because that’s who God made Luke to be. Missing my sunshine every day, Laura Hello friends.
As many of you are aware, the Luke Legacy fund was established in September at Luke's request, to help make Young Life camp affordable so that more kids can hear about Jesus. The generosity has been overwhelming. Last week the Luke Legacy Fund board met for the first time. What a privilege. We awarded 100 scholarships for Young Life camp for the summer of 2018, with a total payout of over $30,000. Luke would be thrilled. This year we chose to cap our distribution because we want the Luke Legacy Fund to continue to grow and impact kids for years going forward. Because of this, we were not able to provide a scholarship for every student who applied. Several people have offered to help those kids who applied and did not receive funding. If you would like to provide a scholarship for one of our "wait list" kids, please contact me directly. The scholarship amounts are approximately $400 per kid. We wish the Luke Legacy Fund did not exist, because that would mean Luke was still with us. But, because Luke is with the Lord, it does exist. We are grateful to be part of it. Here's a quote from the mom of one of the girls who received funding: "Thank you for the opportunity and the scholarship for my daughter this year to attend the Young Life camp. She has asked to go to the summer camp for the last 2 years and we have pushed her off either because we had scheduling conflicts or because of money. We have always said she could go in 8th grade. This year came and we planned on sending her, but life got in the way, making finding an extra $500 tough. This scholarship will make that so much easier and takes a huge stress off of us. We are all very grateful for this scholarship and that she now gets to have this experience of a lifetime at Young Life camp. Thank you!!! Here are some thoughts from Chloe (see photo!), an 8th grader from Ann Arbor: "I am so happy that I received the Luke Legacy Fund scholarship! Because of this, I will be able to go to WYldLife camp. Camp is going to be an opportunity to get to know my friends, grow closer to God, and get to know my leaders more. WYLdLife is important to me because it is led by people who can relate, understand, and care about our lives. I am so excited to go to camp! Thank you! We will keep you updated on the amazing things God is doing through the Luke Legacy Fund! God bless, James & Lu, (for Sam, Jay, & Luke) Junior year.
Shopping for school clothes. Old friends. New friends. Varsity tennis. Marching band Jersey Giant: The Boss. Pool shark. What's his new thing this year? Element. Young Life club. Bible study with the Holt crew. Taking piano lessons. Designated Survivor w/ dad. Gilmore Girls w/ mom. Minecraft. Ultimate frisbee. College applications. Mochas. The Walking Dead, season 8. Young Life Fall Weekend. The Punisher. Yellow. Teaching piano lessons. Ping Pong w/ dad. Coffee w/ mom. Mercilessly picking on Sam. Toy Story II action game w/ Jay. Star Wars: Episode VIII. Yet another rubix cube. Winterfest. Pep band. Work Crew training. Solo and ensemble. Summer plans. Can't wait for Incredibles II! Can't wait for... Six months ago today, Luke passed away, leaving behind a tremendous legacy and a bunch of broken hearts. We miss him so much. We miss who he was, we miss who he was becoming, we miss the experiences we would have had with him. The picture below is from two years ago in March. Luke was in the midst of inpatient chemo, preparing for six weeks of daily radiation treatments, and his brothers had made a rare trip over to the hospital to see him. He had just completed a flawless performance on the piano in the state solo ensemble competition, receiving the highest possible score. It was one of my proudest moments as a dad, watching Luke bravely enter that school full of kids, exhausted and bald from treatment, everyone staring at his missing leg, and then watching the look of surprised delight on the judge's face when he began playing. When he was finished, the judge stood and clapped, and said to Luke, "I love it!!" We loved it too. We are so proud of who Luke was, so proud of who he was becoming, and, yes, we so deeply miss the experiences we would have had with him. God bless, James & Lu (for Sam, Jay, and Luke) Hello friends.
Laura and I are thankful for your continued prayers and presence as we face the unbearable weight brought on by Luke's death. We miss him deeply. There is simply no replacing his presence in our lives. We take great comfort in the reality that Luke is home in heaven with God. Still, we miss him so very much. We have found tremendous comfort in our memories of Luke, and in the memories of Luke others have shared with us. We also continue to be amazed by the legacy Luke is leaving. A few examples: 1) On Friday night, Luke was honored at the Mason High School Varsity basketball game. During halftime, members of the band circled the gym to collect money for the Luke Legacy Fund. They collected $1382, which will allow us to send 3 or 4 additional Mason kids to Young Life camp next summer. (More on the amazing progress of the Luke Legacy Fund coming in a future blog post!) 2) Fred Choi, one of my co-Pastors, snapped and framed a photo (see below) of all of the items that were displayed at Luke's memorial service, things that remind us of Luke's unique interests and skills. 3) I met a woman who has been following along with this blog since Luke's diagnosis. Her first visit to Riverview Church was for Luke's memorial service. She began attending our weekend services, and hasn't missed a week. She has been reading through the Bible along with our teaching series, and continues to find inspiration in Luke's faith even though she never met him. 4) We received an application from a college student to volunteer at one of the Young Life camps for the summer 2018. One of the questions was, "Please share a Bible verse that has meant a lot to you in the past year." Here was the answer: "The passage that meant a lot to me this past year is Romans 8:18, which says, "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." My good friend Luke Granger, whom I become really close with over Work Crew this past summer, lived and breathed by this verse. Luke had terminal cancer and the last thing he wanted to do at the end of his life was to go to Work Crew. During our time together, he reminded me every time I would complain about the dirty toilets or the super early mornings, that these small things have no comparison of the glory that will be revealed to us in our ETERNAL life. After he passed away early this fall, I really dug into Romans 8, and it has just been a huge reminder of when I'm falling down in my faith and when hardships come, that our sufferings are not worth worrying about, because we have been saved by Jesus our Lord." Did I mention how deeply we miss Luke? Thank you always for your continued prayers and presence. God bless, James & Lu (for Sam, Jay, and Luke) Hello friends.
Laura and I are in Hawaii. We do a big trip every "big" anniversary, so we had been saving up to go to Hawaii for our 25th, but our 25th was last year, and last year we had no desire to leave Luke's side, so we're in Hawaii for our 26th instead. It's beautiful here. The weather is flawless. Today alone we saw many unique pieces of God's creation...driftwood and crashing waves and a huge Hawaiian rainbow. We are in a rental house, very private and peaceful. I think you never realize how weary your soul truly is until you are given some space. We need this time, even though it does absolutely nothing to change the deep ache of our loss. It's hard, very hard, to be here without Luke. We see him everywhere. When we go snorkeling, we call the bright little yellow fish, "Luke fish." The other day we drove past a chocolate shop called, "Donkey Balls." Anyone who knew Luke can only imagine how much he would have loved that store. When we left the shop the woman even said, "would you like a bag for your balls?" Classic. Man I wish Luke was with us for that...I swore I could hear him laughing. Today we found this crazy tree, with huge branches growing parallel to the ground. As we got closer we saw the name "Luke" was carved into one of the branches, at eye level. We sure do miss our boy. On Sunday we went to church. The music helped remind us of God's grace in our lives. The sermon was about being bold in proclaiming Jesus, because He has conquered death and we have nothing to be ashamed or afraid of in this life. We are grateful that Luke knows Jesus, and is with Jesus. But we sure do miss our boy. God bless! James and Lu, (for Sam, Jay, and Luke) Hello friends.
As you can imagine, Christmas without Luke is heartbreaking. We miss Luke every minute of the day. There's really nothing more to say. It's a terrible, empty feeling. We are not alone in our loss. Our home has been flooded with cards, gifts, and messages. God has used His people to pray for us and care for us. Unbeknownst to us, some of our dearest friends (Audry, Emily, and Kelsey) contacted a bunch of our friends and family members and had them send yellow ornaments for a Christmas tree in memory of Luke. They collected 100+ ornaments from all over the country, and then last week they made a surprise visit to our house and set up the tree in our living room. Each ornament was selected with Luke in mind, with such thoughtfulness, so the tree is incredibly powerful and meaningful. Many have already asked if they could add an ornament to the tree. We would love that! We're going to keep the tree up, and there's plenty of room. You can send ornaments directly to us and we'll add them to our collection. In this season, we are so grateful for Jesus. We are thankful that Luke's hope was not in this world, but that instead by God's grace he will live forever in heaven with Jesus. In the meantime, we ache and mourn, wishing things were different, but thankful that we will be reunited with Luke, in Christ, very soon. Merry Christmas! James & Lu, (for Sam, Jay, & Luke) |
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